Gentleness
How to cultivate softness and ease in our daily life
“Once in a while, we meet a gentle person. Gentleness is a virtue hard to find in a society that admires toughness and roughness. We are encouraged to get things done and get them done fast, even when people get hurt in the process. Success, accomplishment, and productivity count. But the cost is high. There is no place for gentleness in such a milieu. Gentle is the one who “does not break the crushed reed or snuff the faltering wick.” (Matthew 12:20).
Gentle is the one who is attentive to the strength and the weaknesses of the other, and enjoys being together more than accomplishing something. A gentle person treads lightly, listens carefully, looks tenderly, and touches with reverence. A gentle person knows that true growth requires nurture, not force. Let’s dress ourselves with gentleness. In our tough and often unbending world, our gentleness can be a vivid reminder of the presence of God among us.”
Henri Nouwen, Bread for the Journey
As I sit here listening to a drippy faucet that needs to be repaired, looking at unpacked piles of items from vacation covering my dining table, unopened mail, a full inbox, and lists of events that need to be added to the calendar as we round the corner of ending summer and beginning a school year…. This passage from Henri Nouwen, allowed me to pause, close my eyes and breathe deep…. gentleness…..
I love a list, and I particularly enjoy crossing things off. Learned a long time ago, efficiency and administering tasks and lists is not the same as loving and listening.
Loving and listening is slow work, softer voices, open hearts to hear what isn’t being said, requiring ease not efficiency. It takes patience and intention.
I love the image of “clothing myself in gentleness”. Even saying it outloud, allows my shoulders to drop. What does this feel like to be wrapped in gentleness? How does this feel for you?
I don’t necessarily think this requires “doing” nothing (although stepping away completely to do nothing and be with God is needed for me regularly - a retreat), however, I am drawn to how can I be gentle in my daily life?
How can I live into this intention of ease and softness? How can I begin my day by clothing myself in gentleness? How can I approach conversations, greetings and even my to-do list with reverence? How can I ground myself so that my steps are slower? Breathing deeply so that I might be able to notice the presence of God in, through, and around me?
Here’s what I am trying this summer…..
ABC’S my morning and evening rituals.
A- Awareness - How does my body feel? How did I sleep? Am I keyed up? Where is tension held? (for me this is my jaw - checking in with my facial muscles is often an arrow to how I am feeling.
B - Breath - am I able to breathe deeply? When I inhale am I scrunching up my shoulders? Can I soften my shoulder and breath a little deeper? (if I am keyed up my breath is short and shallow) Giving myself space for 10 deep breaths.
C - Create/cultivate - What practices do I need to practice today to cultivate softenness? This is different depending on my level of stress, worry or tension.(I have 4 teenagers in the house, so there no shortage of things to worry about) Some days, this is sitting quietly grounding my bare feet in the grass, or listening to gentle music, a walk, journaling or yoga.
S: Surrender - Bringing God into all of this. Often my mom prayers start with “Can you please be with________ and guide them through this” I am trying to be with God “IN” whatever the worry or prayer is…. “I am worried about ______ can you please be with me, as I watch this unfold, wrap me in your gentleness and compassion”
What practices help you drop into softness?
Sometimes even restating what you are doing, help to bring in the awareness and the intention of gentleness and ease. Notice the felt sense as you read these words. Not labeling as good or bad, just the sensation that rises.
From an IG post @ slowself.co
If you think someone else would enjoy this post, please feel free to pass along. Thank you for your continued support.
If someone sent this to you, Welcome! If you would like to read other posts, click below to subscribe.